February 2004 - The Paradox of Change

Beisserīs central tenet is this: "that change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not. Change does not take place through a coercive attempt by the individual or by another person to change him, but it does take place if one takes the time and effort to be what he is -- to be fully invested in his current positions."

According to Beisser change is possible when one no longer focuses on the point that should be reached, but pays attention to where one actually is. "The premise is that one must stand in one place in order to have firm footing to move and that it is difficult or impossible to move without that footing". One's grounding is essential: when I do not in some fundamental way accept, that is entertain a loving relationship with who I am at the present moment, how will I ever be able to leap towards new ground? My legs will give way underneath me; my feet will be kicking empty space. The ability to find support in the present is essential.

Gestalt therapy frequently works with 'identification'. The client is asked to identify with whatever comes up. In Beisser's words: "The person seeking change by coming to therapy is in conflict with at least two warring intrapsychic factions. He is constantly moving between what he 'should be' and what he thinks he 'is', never fully identifying with either." This is a sure way of weakening oneself. Being 'here' is a problem, because 'here' is ugly, boring, not approved of, or one of a million other things. Yet being 'there' is a problem also, because it is not here yet: I do not and can not fully know the 'there', because I have not been there before. So the new me, the person who I believe I must be, is a shimmering ghost that may inspire fear, powerlessness, or worse, a glamorous attraction, but does not generate a lot of energy - unless I begin to own it. I have to move into the new terrain, or more precisely: I have to let the new terrain come into me. I need to stop treating it as something external, which has nothing to do with me, except beckoning or threatening me. My challenge is to actually recognize the 'it' - whatever it is, the desire, the goal, the fear - inside me, or at least as many parts as I can find. Can I ever move outside myself?

So here is the paradox: change originates in the present. Paraphrasing Beisser, change occurs when I abandon what I would like to become and attempt to be what I am. When I embrace myself wholeheartedly, I can begin to look for the seeds of renewal, and recognize them as my own. For me there is a mysterious quality here: a process of transformation is taking place, in which elements of myself that I did not know were present, come to the fore and are allowed to develop. At this point it is not very clear what enables this transformation to take place, and how the process can be supported. These questions are central in my investigation in this thesis. As Beisser notes, an important element of Gestalt therapy is the emphasis on process rather than structures. I will come back to this in a later chapter.

The transformative process is accompanied by strong emotions, beliefs and judgments. These may be obstacles to change, like the fear to take a step, or the debilitating verdict of oneself. But they can also be used as forces to assist in the transformation. I would say that the essence of the request to identify fully with one's present role - the request that is central in the Gestalt approach - is the call to let the emotions, beliefs and judgments shine. Let them come forward and energize you! Experimentation and play are process ingredients that will help here. Rituals, symbolic acts and working with psychic energy structures are other possibilities.

At this point I want to briefly address the issue of "will". It seems that will-power is a double-edged sword. In our society we have come to think that without will-power nothing happens. We are trained to decide what we want, to make plans, and to translate plans into execution. We may also approach therapy in this way. Certainly I came to my therapy sessions for a very long time expecting to "solve my problems", and to learn "how things should be done". It does not work that way, not completely. Planning and using my will-power often turn against myself. This typically happens at work, when an idea becomes a plan, and the plan subsequently becomes a task, and a while later becomes a chore. Somewhere along the way I lose my touch, and the plan becomes something external, something to be obeyed rather than inspired by. I need to balance the thrust of my will with acts of surrendering to what is. I need to listen carefully along the way to signals from within and without that tell me whether I am on the right track. If necessary I need to adapt my course. Again this shows the importance of process over fixed structures.

I wonder about the relationship between will and receptiveness. Will is supported by receptiveness, that is the ability to tune in to what is going on inside of me and outside of me, and the capacity of understanding and integrating these signals. But is the reverse also true? Can will support receptiveness, and guide the process of transformation along? I suspect it does: through intention and imagination we may chart our course. I am not talking here about will in the form of the drive needed to overcome obstacles, nor about the blind will that through overuse turns against its owner. I talk about those acts of intending and imagining that seem able to pierce through the fog, and actively create and support a path toward the future, rather like the ray of lightning that springs up from the ground and sets the path for the bolt dashing down from the skies. Also this deserves further investigation.